Monthly Archives: June 2010

You’re pretty in your own way (featuring Jennifer Grey and Beyonce).

Two weeks! Did you miss me? I hope so. Upon the recommendation of an especially Foxy lady, I’ve got some outfits inspired by Jennifer Grey’s top two characters from the 80s. BUT FIRST, some things about Jennifer Grey, and her most iconic roles, that should be noted:

1)For some reason, in both Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) and Dirty Dancing (1987), Grey’s characters have two names, Jeanie/Shauna and Baby/Frances, respectively. Noteworthy? I’d say so.

2)At the height of her career, Jennifer Grey got an ill-advised nose job, which left her (arguably) more conventionally pretty, but nearly unrecognizable as her beloved, already famous bird-faced self. Just imagine, if this all went down today, this unnecessary procedure might have made her MORE popular, a la every 20-something bitch getting cheek implants, breast augmentation, collagen injections, botox, etc. Social commentary? Check.

That said, let’s get to the awesomeness.

First, Jeanie:

which I interpreted as:

While we’re on this, you might as well check out the police station scene with Charlie Sheen:

Classic. Now, while you’re watching clips, check out this one from Dirty Dancing, which details Baby’s transformation from an awkward teenager into a graceful woman through the power of dance and tenor sax solos. Something fairly akin to this happened to me over the course of ten years:

And here is me lamely reenacting the bridge scene from the “Wipeout” montage:

Aaah Baby, who could not be put in a corner, how your knee length cutoffs inspire me. So much that I made a second pair:

They make me feel like Beyonce

because I have thick thighs, which according to this picture from Coachella, can be damn sexy. And because my man packs heat like he’s the oven door. OBVS.

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Naughtycal: Lookin’ fine and feelin’ (STD) free

Picture it: New York, 2010. I’m home on my annual oh-my-god-WHY-would-I-leave-the-greatest-city-on-earth-for-montre-fucking-al trip, strolling down 14th street, wearing something vaguely inappropriate when I see it. A retro mirage.

That’s right ladies and gayntlemen. My little trip serendipitously coincided with fleet week. Oh joy, and rapture! They’re here! With their cute little butts in their cute little pants! And their southern accents! What can I say, I love me a man in uniform.

Now, I personally have strict a “look don’t touch” policy regarding fleet week. Why? Well, while I’ll always appreciate a good service man, invariably you’re gonna get these guys out of their uniforms and they’re either gonna be a) pimply 17-year-old virgins/unwed fathers or 2) pot-bellied middle-aged sleaze-hogs. Oh, and I have a general aversion to all things known to cause STDs. It’s just this little peculiarity I’ve always had. Not like any of this stops me from dressing like this during this joyous festival

(yes, those are anchors), or hamming it up even further by carrying a bag like

It takes me back to a better time in the history of style…before casual Fridays lead the masses to believe it was ok to leave the house before changing out of their pajamas, when the standard of beauty was a strategically clad Vargas girl, whose skirt would blow up revealing something exciting, instead of something we’ve all seen a thousand times before.

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Hey Rue, this one’s for you (Oh and Bea, Estelle, and Betty, for you and you and you, too).

When I was a little girl, I spent a significant portion of my school breaks and summers in Fort Lauderdale, FL at the home of my gorgeous and fasionable Grandma Jeanne

(The devastatingly handsome man with her is my Grandpa Bob; and yes, she maintained the highest level of style until the day she passed).

It was during these visits that I was first exposed to the Golden Girls. Grandma Jeanne, like most women of retirement age during its 1985-1992 run, was a loyal viewer, and I joined her whenever I could. Given my age however, I was unable to grasp most of the issues the four women dealt with, the more serious of which ranged from homelessness to artificial insemination to the emerging AIDS crisis, nor was I aware that the characters were clad in some of the highest couture of the time. I just knew that these were four funny, graceful, and stylish women who reminded me of my grandmother. And as anyone who has ever had a grandmother knows, there is hardly anything in life that is more comforting.

Because of these memories, I have returned to the show many times in my life. Each time, I find a masterpiece of comidic timing perfectly balanced with continuously relevent social commentary. Not to mention a sweet wardrobe and a constant craving for cheesecake. Basically, Golden Girls was the Sex and the City that stayed clever, classy, and chic, and never sold out to designer name dropping, facile plots, and superficial character relationships. 

Having always been primarily interested in dance and style, extensive knowledge of the series has also helped me connect with most of the men I’ve encountered. Actually, I’ve never met a gay or straight man or woman who, despite any initial, superficial misgivings about subject matter, hasn’t become hooked on the show upon watching. Which is why it’s especially sad that in the past two years, we’ve lost three of these lovely ladies. First, the utterly hilarious Estelle Getty, on July 22, 2008, 

pictured here looking awesome after accepting her Emmy for playing the much older Sophia Petrillo.

Then, on April 25, 2009, the monumental Bea Arthur,

the mega-star who played Sophia’s daughter Dorothy Zbornak, the character that prompted my favorite and most bizarre childhood mannerism, fist-biting 

And now, just yesterday, the endlessly sultry Rue McClanahan

who played Atlanta vixen Blanche Devereaux. Blanche proved that growing older didn’t mean growing out of your sexuality, that with a little swagger and an increased know-how that only comes with age, a woman could be sexy into her AARP years. Before Samantha Jones’ never-ending collection of cremes, hormones, and botox sessions (I’m sorry, is my distaste for SATC 2 showing? How embarrassing), Blanche showed women how to stay young with pure attitude, and gave us all hope for our golden years.

The only consolation for the loss of these tremendous comediennes is the surge in popularity of surviving funny lady Betty White

who played charming and ditzy St. Olaf native Rose Nylund. The past few years have seen her in several television and movie roles. Nearly half a million fans joined a facebook group urging her to host SNL, and in May she became the oldest person to do so at 88. To top off the Betty craze, she stars in the upcoming sitcom Hot in Cleveland. As a friend of mine said this week “Betty White is so hot right now.”

I like to think all of the Golden Girls are forever hot. Here’s a little gem that demonstrates the ease with which the sitcom and its actresses fit into pop culture today

Pretty sweet, huh?

So to Estelle, Bea, Rue, and Betty and their Golden Girl counterparts, right back atcha, in so many ways

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WTF? Tayisha Busay Vi-vi-vi-video

Soooooo, I wanted to wait and do a feature on this sweeet NYC Glitter pop band, Tayisha Busay, but since their video for “WTF you doin in my mouth” just came out I simply MUST post it RIGHT NOW. Watch it. Then watch it again. Then drink some glitter because, as Ariel of TB informs me, it makes your poop glittery. There you go. Follow their advice, and even your poop will look awesome.

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