Monthly Archives: August 2010

The Great Legging Debate

All right bitches. I’m here to settle this once and for all. Why is it ok to wear leggings “as pants”? BECAUSE AUDREY HEPBURN DID IT.

And she’s awesome. Duh.

So next time you want to rag on someone for carrying out this practice, ask yourself:

1) Do I want to rag on someone for doing something Audrey Hepburn did, thus implying that Audrey Hepburn herself might not have been awesome?

2) Do I really give a shit what other people are wearing when I myself look so awesome? Shouldn’t I be concentrating on my own awesomeness?

Can’t we all just get along?

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Hold me closer, Tony Danza. Featuring the Body of Christ!

Sometimes these things work backwards. Sometimes you put something on and you need to unpack the subliminal influences that inspired it. Why? Because you’re me and you have nothing better to do than overanalyze the shit you wear. Duh. Take this little number, one of my recent faves:

I couldn’t really get a good picture of it, now that Lauraloo, my primary photographer, has gone off to the fruit farm. In her absence, I’m experimenting with new angles like bird’s eye view:

and this one depicting me as I pay my respects at the clothes chair, where outfits go to die:

Aaaaanyway, this lacy white concoction made me think of that scene from She’s Out of Control, the 1989 comedy starring TV zensation Tony Danza as a father who is cursed with a really, really hot daughter. You know the scene right? Because all of you have seen this movie? It’s taught in most post-WWII American film courses. Haven’t any of you ever taken a film class???

Seriously though, it’s actually a piece of crap, except for this one scene where Tony Danza comes home from his business trip to find his newly hot and dateable daughter (makeover montage!!!!) walking down the stairs in slow motion to Frankie Avalon singing “Venus”. Check it out at 4:01-4:45 on this clip (but don’t watch the rest…it WILL ruin your life):

Hot right? Come on girls, don’t act like you don’t ALWAYS wear exclusively white outfits on all of your first dates.

Upon closer inspection, however, I realized that my all white experiment was shockingly similar to the dress I wore at my first communion. Oh, first communion, when little girls get to wear mini wedding dresses while consuming the body of Christ for the first time…a preparation for one’s wedding night in so many ways.

And who could forget the 1992 first communion fashions? So poofy and over the top with their puffed shoulders and full tulle skirts. I, however, opted for a simpler silhouette with a chic lace overlay for that fateful day, throughout which I acted out the aforementioned scene many, many times.

The moral of this story is two fold. Little girls don’t often get to wear their first communion dresses twice, but if you pick the right one, it will inspire them to look awesome well into their twenties. And as anyone who remembers Jean Paul Gaultier’s Spring 2007 Couture collection knows  (check it out! http://nymag.com/fashion/fashionshows/2007/spring/main/europe/couturerunway/jeanpaulgaultier/), Jesus’s crew got great style.

(Thanks for the pics Ali-Z, you look awesome!).

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Filed under Awesomeness, Fashion, Pop culture, Style